I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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