apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
