theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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