Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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