I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
