Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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