just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
