If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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