32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Randomize
