I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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