you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
NoShamevember. You game?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
