this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
