Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
