is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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