i was born a porn star she said
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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