i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
