Me too!
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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