god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Sponge bath it is.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
