Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
