so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i barfeds in our rink
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
