She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
