So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
