does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize