I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize