Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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