i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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