Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
