remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I cannot find my penis.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
