just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
