I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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