big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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