Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
