Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
