Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
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