you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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