Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize