There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize