So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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