god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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