Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
