Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize