Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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