We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
