I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We just shotgunned beers for America
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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