He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
