Kiss
Puke
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
