why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
