I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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