conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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