a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We need a shit load of segways right now
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Everclear isn't food dammit
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
