Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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