dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
