there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
