Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize