Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Too much gin, very little bucket
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
