Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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