My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
