I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The beer is more important than you right now.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
