hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
