I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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