I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you didnt know i had herpes?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We are all done wearing pants today
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
